The other day Mr. ‘V’ came to me almost exhausted. I wanted to ask him whether he still holds any energy to talk about his life situation – or plight, you can say !!!
He nodded in disapproval. I couldn’t make out anything. A very hallmark expression of hopelessness, tiring and deception was there on his face already.
I offered him glass of water. This secluded evening was making our faces even more gloomy. So I tried to bring forced smile on my face, hoping to transcend some confidence.
“You see, this is not fair”. ‘V’ murmured. I listened attentively as if he is pouring out his heart to me first time.
“I am always been a good person in my life. Helped whoever needs me. Personal priorities always took back seat.” V paused for a moment. Perhaps with a feeling of giving up. “Sincerity is no more a virtue. It looks good only in books. What remains with you is stark reality of life…. you are what you are”. I sighed. Philosophy is not my cup of tea !!!
“Look at the world. There are no paybacks for good deeds”. I must say, ‘V’ looked in terrible state of mind.
“Its beyond my comprehension to analyze things happening with me. Its insane. And I don’t deserve this. Everything is illusion, they say. But what I get to experience is very gross. I can feel it. I live with it. How can I outrightly reject all those sorrows, seet and sour moments, the uncertaiities, the choked emotions and the restlessness?… This is not On”
He stood up. I didn’t know what to do.
“I must find out where all this ends” he said with firmness in his voice. “However arduous may be the journey, it’s better to go to the root of everything”. I could just smile wryly. It’s not that he hasn’t tried this path before. Don’t know why, but every time he met with failure. I seriously wanted to call him back.
But it was too late……. I could only see his shrinking figure briskly walking away from me on that dusky evening…
Come back V. I need you………………..